Are you considering moving your family to the mission field? Maybe you are a church desiring to prepare a missionary family well for departure. Or maybe as a friend, relative, or parent of a missionary, you are wanting to know how best to support them. No matter what brings you here today, this blog is for you!
Most of the time, missionaries that are sent by a church and missions agency must undergo a long list of preparations before they can depart. Whether it is raising support, applying for the right documentation, packing belongings, or completing cross-cultural training, missionaries are expected to adequately prepare for their terms overseas before they go. But it is not just the adults that need to prepare for this major transition. Third Culture Kids (TCKs) will undergo the same amount of change in moving to the mission field as their parents and need to be prepared well for this shift in their lives before it happens. We will examine together a few ideas you can use to help a TCK feel more ready before they board a plane for another culture!
Establishing Identity
Before a TCK moves to another culture, they may not know what a missionary kid or TCK is. They may not fully understand the concept of a missionary or missions. Walking them through Scripture as well as missionary stories or other TCK resources for understanding the life they are stepping into will help them have a framework for what to expect and how to understand their new life. But it is also important to note that, while understanding their newfound identity as a TCK is helpful, one of the best ways to help prepare a child for the mission field is to teach or remind them of their identity in Christ. A TCK will face a lot of difficult change, loss, and identity crises in their life, and having a solid foundation of who they are as a child of God (or who they could be if they have not yet trusted in Christ) will go a long way in helping them face the life they are stepping into.
One of the best ways to help prepare a child for the mission field is to teach or remind them of their identity in Christ.
Explaining the Plan
Whether a child is two years old or sixteen, they will feel more secure and involved if they have an understanding of what becoming a TCK entails. Helping them understand may include sharing basic trip details with them, explaining the steps of packing, moving, and traveling, or helping them have a vision for what their new life could be like. Be careful not to over-promise or glamorize. Be honest with the TCK and entrust them with the details you discern they can hold. Invite them into the whole process as they are, in many ways, becoming missionaries just as much as their parents are.
Ensuring Structure
Depending on their luggage allowance and destination, a TCK may find it hard to bring many of their belongings with them when they move to a new culture. But each TCK will have certain toys, stuffed animals, books, or gadgets that mean something to them, and it is important not to overlook how a few key items from home may help them adjust in their next culture. Consistency is often lacking for TCKs because of how much changes in their young lives regarding education, housing, food, language, friends, landscape, and more. If you can help them pick out from their belongings pieces of clothing, certain toys, or perhaps pictures or other items that are special to them, you will help send them to the mission field with a few anchors of consistency. The same can be said for traditions. If a family has certain traditions for the holidays or other seasons, it can be very helpful and stabilizing to a TCK to be able to expect and experience those same traditions overseas. You probably won’t be able to continue your tradition of going to Sonic every Saturday for ice cream because you no longer live on the same continent as Sonic, but you can find a new ice cream place in your new culture to go to on Saturdays. Having familiar belongings and traditions will go a long way in providing stability and consistency to your TCK.
One of the best ways you can help prepare a TCK is to acknowledge the importance of their goodbyes and closure.
Parting Well
One of the best ways you can help prepare a TCK is by acknowledging the importance of their goodbyes and closure. While they may be young, it is important not to diminish their need as fellow humans for a long list of “lasts.” Whether it is a last playdate with a friend or a last trip to see their grandparents, each TCK will benefit from having the opportunity to say their goodbyes. TCKs may need your help in thinking of creative and meaningful ways to part well with their current world, home, and culture. Talk to them about it. Ask them what they would like to do to say goodbye. And keep in mind that, while some children will want to sit in the reality of “lasts,” some TCKs will not want attention brought to whatever they are experiencing. In that case, providing them the same amount of opportunities for closure and goodbyes is still encouraged, but with less emphasis on the “ending.”
Providing Emotional Support
As mentioned above, each TCK will differ in what they need when it comes to processing their emotions related to moving to another culture. For some, they may feel sadness way before the departure date. For others, they may be very excited for the plane ride and not begin to feel the loss of their old world until months or years into their TCK experience. But being available for conversation, asking good questions, and acknowledging the hard as much as the good will provide TCKs with a space to share their hearts and what they are processing safely.
Because they differ in age, personality, and background, each TCK will need different support and care as they prepare for the mission field.
Planning for School
Before moving overseas, it is always a good idea to look into the education options in your next culture. Education systems differ greatly from country to country, so being able to explain to a TCK some of the differences or similarities they might encounter in their next schooling experience can help quiet fears and adjust expectations. Language learning can also begin before a TCK moves. You can provide them with recordings, songs, books, or games in another language to get them acquainted with what they will be immersed in down the road.
Because they differ in age, personality, and background, each TCK will need different support and care as they prepare for the mission field. There is no one way or right way to prepare them. The best way to come alongside a future TCK is to give them space to grieve what they are leaving behind, help spark interest and knowledge of what might lie ahead, and provide daily emotional and spiritual support to them as they navigate the first steps of becoming a Third Culture Kid.
Abigail Newport is the Donor Relations and Development Coordinator for Hellenic Ministries, a non-profit missions organization based in Athens, Greece. She earned her bachelor's degree from Moody Bible Institute in Communications and has written a book called HOME: The Musings of a Missionary Kid, which was influenced by her childhood in France and Greece. Abigail is passionate about bridging the gap between cultures, generations, and those that serve on the field with churches in the States. She now lives in Knoxville, Tennessee, where she works remotely, invests in her local community, and spends her free time hosting, exploring, and enjoying coffee or tea with friends. You can find out more at abigailnewport.com or by following her on Instagram.
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